Valentine’s Day is approaching. And, while you may celebrate on February 14th with gifts, acts of kindness, and loving words, I hope that you’ll consider professing your love in all of these ways all throughout the year. You don’t only love someone on that one day, do you?
Here are four simple ideas to help you get started.
Those Three Little Words
Probably the most heart-warming and straightforward way of letting someone know that you love them is to, as you might have suspected, TELL THEM! It’s understandable that, if you haven’t been doing this on a regular basis in your social, familial, or romantic relationships saying the words “I love you” can seem daunting and might even feel uncomfortable—even when you really mean it!
In our society, some cultures do not make a habit of verbally expressing love in a kind, positive way. Sometimes it's expressed only when some catastrophe arises, such as the death of a loved one. Other times, there is regular expression, but it might not be in the most pleasant and clear way, such as telling jokes about someone or calling them by a nickname they may or may not appreciate. If you want to start a new trend in your relationship with your spouse, child, friends, parents and other people that you care about, I suggest just diving in and trying it out. Often, the more we do express our love and appreciation of someone in a clear, open, healthy manner, the more the discomfort subsides. As a bonus, the more we do it, the more likely people are to respond to us in the same way. Maybe you just get a nervous smile and an “Okay, thanks,” the first time you tell someone you love them. I hope you won’t be too hurt by this. Remember that this change in the relationship is new for them as well as for you and they may have been caught off guard, whereas you actually knew that you were planning on telling them that you love them for the first time (in a long time).
XOXO
One of the most obvious physical ways in which you can show someone that you love and care about them is to hug them and kiss them. Hug your mother when you see her. Give your boyfriend a kiss when you meet him at your favorite restaurant. Give your best friend a quick hug before you part ways after your night out.
There are many opportunities all throughout our day in which we could insert this show of love. For instance:
· When we wake up and see our romantic partner in the morning.
· When we send our children out the front door to catch their school bus or as we prepare to take them to school.
· When we start or end our lunchtime meeting with our best friend.
· When we come home after work.
· When we are finishing our workout with our family at the gym.
· When we’re ending a walk in the park with our family.
· When we are watching a movie with our family.
· When we put our children to sleep.
· When we are about to go to sleep in the same bed as our romantic partner.
Follow the same comfort guidelines outlined in “Three Little Words”. I think people can still get the message that you love them without you hugging and kissing them literally every time you see them, but even a small, weekly reminder can be nice. When people feel loved and appreciated by us, they are more likely to enjoy being part of our lives.
Show Appreciation
If saying “I love you” and doling out hugs and kisses are still quite a bit outside of your comfort zone, try an even smaller gesture: Saying “Thank you.” Some people are more comfortable thanking a stranger for opening a door than they are thanking their husband for mowing the lawn or taking out the trash—things that have a far more significant impact on their daily lives.
If you really can’t think of any specific act to thank someone for, don’t forget that it’s perfectly acceptable to merely thank them for being who they are to you in a wonderful way (i.e., a great mom, an awesome husband, a good friend, a fantastic son, etc.).
Here are some everyday tasks that you might want to take time out to thank someone for doing in your life:
·
Waking you up when you’re in danger of oversleeping.
· Walking the dog.
· Preparing breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
· Waking up when you ask them to the first time (or without you asking at all).
· Doing what you expect of them (doing homework, taking out the trash, washing the dog, etc.) the first time they are asked (or without you asking at all).
· Driving / walking with you to work or school.
· Cleaning any area of the house.
· Behaving appropriately at school or a friend’s house.
· Apologizing for something that they did that hurt you.
· Submitting their finished work to you in a timely manner.
· Showing up to work on time or early.
· Not being afraid to offer up ideas when you’re struggling to solve a problem.
· Picking you up from work or school.
· Working out at the gym with you.
· Encouraging you to do things that are beneficial for your health.
· Reminding you to take your medicine.
· Washing dishes.
· Taking out the trash.
· Mowing the lawn.
· Cleaning up after themselves.
· Putting gas in the car.
· Fixing a broken item in your house.
Gifting
As nice as it can be to get gifts on a special holiday, birthday, or anniversary, it’s just as nice (if not even nicer!) when you receive a gift for no other reason than because someone loves you. So, try to make gift-giving a more routine part of your relationship with someone. If you usually just get them something on their birthday and Christmas, try to find two or three other times during the year to get them a gift.
Keep in mind that gift-giving doesn’t have to mean spending hundreds or thousands of dollars on some new gadget or spending an entire paycheck on concert tickets. Here are some simple, (generally relatively) cheap gifts:
· A package of their favorite snack or candy.
· A copy of their favorite movie.
· A souvenir from one of their favorite cities or amusement parks.
· A frame for a photograph that they love.
· A massage.
· A night (out or in) without the kids.
· A copy of one of their favorite magazines or books.
· Doing one of the household chores that they usually have to do.
· Washing their car for them.
· A loving phone call, text message, or email.
· A home-cooked meal.
· A gift that you created, such as a song, scarf, or painting.
There are still many other manners in which you could show your love. However you choose to do it, I'm hoping the method will be healthy and safe. Just remember that showing love throughout the year is just as special as showing it on a specific day.
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