Aggression: Top 3 Pros and Cons

#MadMSSW

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Now that we know where aggression comes from, let's weigh out the pros and cons of aggressive habits. In the next post on aggression, we'll discuss methods for moving away from behaving in aggressive manners.


Benefits


1. Material Abundance and / or Professional Success

We aggressive people sometimes show that aggressiveness in the work place. While that can lead to being fired or arrested, other times it can lead to company growth, promotions, and accolades (including raises and increased perks) for our outstanding performance. In any business where it pays to be a cut-throat, feelings-disregarding, bridge-burning pirate of an employee, aggressive people will tend to excel. Even in other aspects of life we may have strong-armed our way into things like a great house, a good neighborhood, a better school, etc.


2. No Contest

Being aggressive can also mean that we get our way most, if not all, of the time. When we make decisions for ourselves, they apply to everyone around us. If we want Chinese, the entire staff will have Chinese food for lunch. If we want to go to Tobago on our family vacation, that is exactly where the family will go--without any input from, or regard for, anyone else in the family. Being aggressive can mean that we don't have to spend time and energy trying to convince people to do what we want, the way we want it, because they may be so afraid of, or annoyed by, our attitude that they do what we say just to avoid incurring our wrath.







3. Relatively Open Communication

Since we're outwardly aggressive, we tend not to have any of the problems that come along with stuffing down, covering up, or ignoring our emotions. We lay everything out on the table. Well...most things. We often lash out in aggressive manners precisely because we aren't acknowledging our more vulnerable feelings first--things like hurt, sadness, disrespect, or anxiety. However, at the very least, the anger is going to be expressed to the offending party, even if those deeper emotions are never mentioned.




Drawbacks

1. Isolation

While it can be nice to have some time alone, being aggressive can push people away from us to the point that they don't want to interact with us, even on a superficial level. People avoid eye contact on elevators, duck into bathrooms if we're walking through the hallways, or even ignore our phone calls. Unfortunately, when we're going through a situation in which we need support, this means these people may not be willing to be there for us.


2. Criminal Record and Other Reputation Issues

Getting in trouble with the law is never fun. However, when we get into physical fights or loud arguments with others, we are at very high risk of having the police called on us. We could get in a fight at a bar, with our sibling at a family cookout, with our romantic partner during dinner at a restaurant, at a sporting event, even at a movie theatre--all because of our aggressive pattern of behavior. If we're not arrested, we're often asked to leave places like restaurants and amusement parks, and sometimes are altogether banned from these places. If we happen to be with other people, they tend to not want to hang out with us any more after that happens due to feeling shocked and embarrassed. We begin to build a reputation for being a "hot-head". This can effect job prospects, friendships, family relationships, and dating.


3. Missed Opportunities

When no one wants to spend very much time with us, there's a lot that can pass us up. We may miss out on sentimental events that, such as a friend's wedding or a relative's birthday party, because we weren't invited based on our behavior. There are also professional consequences to having problems with aggression such as getting passed over for management or executive positions because people fear how we will perform. Someone we may have been able to meet and start a relationship with could be turned of by our aggressive manner of speaking and behaving.




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Read More About This Topic:

Aggressive: A Good Thing in the Eyes of Gen Y Women?
Ilo Inspired | Maxie McCoy
http://iloinspired.com/aggressive-is-good/


Does Media Violence Lead to the Real Thing?
The New York Times | Vasilis K. Pozios, Praveen R. Kambam, and H. Eric Bender
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/25/opinion/sunday/does-media-violence-lead-to-the-real-thing.html?_r=0