The Surprising Origin of Aggression

#MadMSSW
Social Science, Human Behavior, Social Work, Emotions, Anger, Aggression

Humans, like most animals, can readily show aggression if they believe they are being threatened.

The last few posts were all about passivity. Now, let's spend some time exploring aggression. You may be, or know, an aggressive person. Someone who seems to constantly get into heated arguments or even physical altercations. This person may have many tense relationships with the people around them. But this disposition didn't fall out of the sky. All aggression comes from somewhere.

What is "Aggression"?

Merriam-Webster defines 'aggression' as: "angry or violent behavior or feelings".

Aggressive people are often the opposite of passive people in that they show their emotions openly.

Aggression comes from anger. Anger is not an emotion that manifests itself outside of a vulnerable context. This means that, if someone is angry and displaying aggressive behavior, they have probably first felt hurt, disrespected, belittled, or some other tender emotions.

Aggression can manifest itself in many ways including name-calling ("incompetent", "idiot", "fat", "ugly", "stupid", "ridiculous", "immature", etc.), threats (to fire someone, to hit someone, to reveal a secret, etc.), inflicting physical pain (pinching, pushing, grabbing, slapping, punching, kicking, choking, etc.), and inflicting psychological pain (damaging sentimental items, harming pets, etc.).

Often, children who grow up in environments with aggressive people around simply end of mimicking this behavior as a way to deal with their feelings throughout life. These children generally grow to become playground bullies and aggressive criminals (assault, rape, battery, etc.). Other times, adults who have regularly been relatively calm can develop a habit of being more aggressive due to life circumstances that have 'hardened' them in this manner. For instance, going off to war or having to serve a lengthy sentence in prison. Maybe a relatively mild mannered weed dealer was incarcerated for an extended period of time due to the drug laws in his country and, spending so much time with other criminals who are more aggressive, learned to be aggressive as well in order to protect himself around them. It's likely that when he leaves prison after several years, having learned to become more aggressive and make that demeanor a habit, he will tend to me more aggressive than he was when he was first imprisoned.

Where Does Aggression Come From?

We tend to get aggressive about things that cause us deep pain.

 

Aggression comes from our attempt to protect our vulnerable feelings. This is similar to how an animal might growl or snap at a wildlife ranger and their crew as they try to help them with a gunshot wound or hoof that's gotten caught in a fence. The animal wants to protect that wounded area of themselves until they can trust that the people coming towards them aren't trying to harm them further. After a few minutes, they often settle down and take the help that's being given.

Humans work in a very similar way.

For example, if Tandy gets nervous about talking to the whole class when it's time for "Show and Tell" presentations, she might wet herself while standing in front of the class. Though she was already extremely nervous, anxious, and scared, when the other kids start to laugh at her and call her names, she might then feel hurt by being ridiculed. In order to save herself from tuning into and fully experiencing the hurt, she lashes out with her anger and calls the other kids names, says the presentation is stupid anyway, and tells the Mr. Black she hates him for making her do this as she runs out the classroom door. Alone, in the bathroom, she might calm down a little and start to cry. Now, even though she tried to defend against it in the classroom, she is fully experiencing those feelings of hurt, inadequacy, and humiliation that she faced a few moments before. Even though she had screamed at Mr. Black before, as the teacher slowly coaxes her out of the bathroom, Tandy may accept a hug and further aid with her wet clothes from the guidance counselors at her school.

You may have noticed that many people who get extremely angry tend to cry shortly after their initial aggression has been expressed (hopefully only verbally and in a respectful manner, but often through fighting or some other destructive behavior). This is because anger and aggression act as defenses for those more vulnerable feelings that we often don't want to recognize and accept. What CEO wants to feel inadequate in her position? What father wants to feel isolated from his children, even though they live in the same house? As the CEO, I might retaliate against someone who corrected something I said during a meeting by belittling them. As a father, I might ground my children in an attempt to make them stay at home with me during their free time so that I don't feel so disconnected from them.

So, the next time you think you're seeing someone display aggression, keep in mind that the root of that particular tree is very sensitive and fragile and needs to be shown nurturance and protection, or else the anger will persist without any recognition or processing of the feelings underneath the "armor" that is anger.

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Coming up next, I'll post about the positives and negatives of being aggressive. Stay tuned!

Read more about this topic:

Screw You! The Psychology of Anger and Aggression
The Guardian | Dean Burnett
http://www.theguardian.com/science/brain-flapping/2013/aug/06/anger-aggression-psychology-screw-you

Getting Angry is Actually Good for You. It's Just Science
The Huffington Post | Jacqueline Howard
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/27/science-of-anger-emotion-survive-video_n_5030788.html

Anger and Aggression
First Psychology Scotland
http://www.firstpsychology.co.uk/anger-aggression-introduction/