For Fun: A Question About Gay Marriage

I have heard various arguments for and against the legalization of homosexual marriages, civil unions, and even the social acceptance of homosexuality in general, but I have trouble understanding what the "big damn deal" is related to these topics.

 A friend of mine regularly, sarcastically makes statements such as, "the economy is terrible, people are committing ridiculous atrocities, but whether are not gays can get married--that's the most important thing!"

So, it does beg the question, why has the issue of gay marriage been on the United States' stage for so long? It reminds me of how long various subpopulations of the United States have had to fight to be treated equally throughout history, when their cause was really a very simple, justified (seemingly cut-and-dried) argument: We're humans of the world and citizens of this country, so we should be treated as such without any undue restrictions on our rights and freedoms. Easy...right?

 

Why does the United States seem to be so far behind many other developed, or developing, countries when it comes to various social issues? Why so long to universally abolish slavery? Why so long to allow people besides land-owning, white males the right to vote? Why so long before a non-white, disabled person, or female becomes leader of the country? How many countries are there left in the world who don't use the metric system? Well, that's more of a technical than a social issue, but it follows the same vein. :D

 It just seems so bizarre to me that people can claim that it's such an insignificant issue when compared to things like the state of the economy. However, if homosexual marriage is such a small thing, why not just let homosexual marital unions be adorned with all the same rights and honors as heterosexual marital unions, and actually call it "marriage" so we can all just move on with our lives?

Think of it this way: If you have a classroom filled with children, and you've given a cookie to everyone else--the child of an interracial married couple, the child of a minority race couple, the child of an elderly couple, the child of a young couple, the child of a single parent, the child of parents with mental health issues, the child of parents with criminal records, and so on--why then withhold a cookie from the child of a same-sex couple? Especially if all the child wants is the single cookie that everyone else received (not 3 cookies, not a brownie, not extra play time at recess), just to be treated the same as everyone else in their environment? Why have daily disruptions in the classroom, extra monitoring by you as a teacher to make sure the child of the homosexual couple doesn't get a cookie, and protests and attempted lawsuits from parents related to alleged discrimination, all when you could just give the child a cookie and have an extra morsel of peace in the class? Why not tie up that loose end while you move on to tackling these larger, more pressing issues?

What catastrophe will befall your classroom if this one last child is given a cookie?
What doom will come to our planet if homosexual couples are allowed to marry?


 We've already seen civil unions be legalized in several states and those states have not fallen into ruin (unless I've missed some piece of news somewhere). Those states were not swallowed up by the Earth, never to be heard from again. Life seems to have gone on pretty much as normal.

So, if anyone cares to share (respectfully, I hope!), what do you believe would be the ultimate calamity that would take place if homosexual couples are allowed to marry legally all throughout the United States?

I'll note that I'm afraid people will think I'm trying to insult their intelligence, ask a trick question, or start an argument, but none of these are true. I'm seriously curious to hear directly from my audience what you think will happen. For people to feel so strongly about this issue, there has to be something pretty devastating that they think will take place if homosexual marriage were to be legalized fully.