Another reason gay people might want to consider holding off on marriage is being in a relationship with someone that is unhealthy or consistently problematic. The person could be abusive, obsessive, territorial, melodramatic, or aggressive. Sometimes, when people find themselves in relationships like this--especially if they've gone on for years--they may think that the act of getting married will suddenly make everything change for the better.
While that would be a wonderful miracle to have take place, the odds lean heavily against this happening. If your relationship was fucked up when you were dating, it's very likely to stay fucked up when you get married,
UNLESS there is a concerted effort to make some big changes in the relationship. This could mean communicating more openly about hurts, offenses, and desires; taking a class or attending a seminar about
healthy relationship skills; or setting aside time to see a couples counselor.
Though marriage can be a wonderful and exciting next step for any relationship, it doesn't mean that it is going to wipe away any of the problems that may exist in a relationship. Be sure to either adopt the tools needed to manage, or be prepared to fully except, any issues that are part of a relationship before moving forward with getting married. If you don't, there's a good chance that the union will be short-term, or that both parties will be miserable throughout.
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